Added: Buford Vivier - Date: 22.03.2022 04:45 - Views: 44798 - Clicks: 2365
I am a semiretired man, still in good health both physically and mentally. My daughter continued to live with me through her mids because she was still trying to decide on the best career to pursue. Jane lived in an apartment with her teenage son, who has a medical issue that may make living on his own difficult. After two or three years of dating, Jane told me that she did not want to continue our relationship unless we moved in together.
Around this time, my daughter was moving into an apartment with her boyfriend, and I agreed that Jane, with her son, could move into my house. I did not anticipate, however, that physical space would not be the only issue. Jane found an apartment within two weeks for her and her son, but said she does not want to hear from me ever again, despite the fact that we both really love each other. I do not want to lose Jane and miss her terribly, but I believe I had no other choice.
I do not see why Jane and I cannot continue to see each other; have dinners together; go to restaurants, clubs, plays, and movies; and take a couple of vacations together. Unfortunately, because she was so angered by the choice I had to make, she continues to tell me that she never wants to see me again.
I have told her Seeking a weekend girlfriend many older couples who, for various reasons—children, finances, personal habits—choose to live not together, but near enough to still have a vibrant relationship. I feel so alone and sad without her.
Am I being unreasonable to expect Jane to see the benefits of our relationship despite not being able to live together with me for the next year or two? And if that door has indeed closed for good, the ability to cultivate compassionate understanding will be useful in any relationship that follows.
It might go something like this:.
We immediately became a couple, and enjoyed doing so many things together. We wanted to be together forever, and this felt like an exciting new chapter in our lives.
After a few years, I wanted to take what felt like the natural next step in our relationship—living together. He says that he loves and misses me, but he seems to have no understanding of the impact this has had on me and the extent of the damage done. In other words, you say you had no choice, but you actually had many choices—and you made the choice that would damage the trust between you and Jane and hurt her deeply.
You might share this in a letter to her, so that she can read it on her own and take the time she needs to process it. And every time you have the knee-jerk reaction that you have no choice, remind yourself that you have an abundance of choices available to you, and that you can choose to say no, but you can also choose to say yes: Yes, I love you. Yes, I see you. Yes, you matter. Yes to creating a life together. Yes to us.
Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Popular Latest. The Atlantic Crossword. In Subscribe.Seeking a weekend girlfriend
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