What are the two types of love

Added: Lakeitha Sternberg - Date: 11.11.2021 10:45 - Views: 26397 - Clicks: 9142

Posted June 14, Reviewed by Abigail Fagan. Love is defined differently by everyone. For many, love is a feeling of deep connectedness.

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For others, love is an elusive prize that needs to be contained and controlled. One version may elicit joy and comfort while the other frequently causes anxiety and discomfort. Either way, figuring it out may save a person a great deal of heartache in the long run. Closeness is the feeling a person gets when he or she falls in love.

When reciprocated, the experience of feeling understood, known, and supported allows a person to also feel loved. The exercise of getting to know someone when falling in love should not end after courtship. Many believe empathy is the cornerstone of a close and healthy relationship. Empathy is the opposite of feeling sorry for a partner, fixing his or her problems, or surrendering a personal perspective.

It is simply a sincere attempt to understand how a person feels while communicating this understanding to him or her. Essentially, it is listening and being attuned to a feeling state, and then honoring the feeling. Examples of empathic statements include:. Understanding how a partner feels does not mean a person relinquishes his or her own viewpoint. It simply means a person is willing to try and understand. This, alone, conveys respect and love.

This is often comforting and sustains the closeness in the relationship. Perhaps the most difficult time to have empathy for a partner is when you're the one who hurt them. Still, stay the course. I am sorry. I had a selfish moment.

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Frequently, heartfelt ability repairs ruptures in the relationship and preserves trust. The importance of discussing feelings in terms of resolving conflict and preserving the closeness in the union is critical. Yet feigning hardship to excuse a hurtful act may be an attempt to manipulate and gain emotional control of a person. When a partner dismisses, shames, and punishes a person for a feeling, he or she may struggle with empathy.

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Examples of statements that invalidate feelings include:. Feeling ashamed may compel a person to second guess feelings and opinions.

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Unaware of his or her controlling tendencies because they stem from deep-rooted insecurities, the partner may lack insight. Resolving these tendencies is difficult if the partner is unable to recognize the dysfunction. If a person becomes enlightened and challenges the partner, the partner may inflict guilt in order to exonerate himself or herself. You are impossible to please. If a partner empathizes, is vulnerable instead of a victim, and is sincerely able for mistakes in the relationship, trust is easier to sustain.

The love in the relationship is a product of closeness. Alternatively, if a partner emotionally manipulates, shames, routinely plays the victim, and continually inflicts guilt, the need for control may be his or her dysfunctional version of love, and it is often destructive. A healthy love is one in which both people feel heard, understood, and respected. It may be worth the wait. Erin Leonard, Ph. Ego and self-serving biases shape the life story we share with the world—and with ourselves. The good news: An internal reckoning will help us better comprehend who we truly are. Erin Leonard Ph.

Peaceful Parenting. Two Types of Love What kind do you and your partner share? About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today.

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What are the two types of love

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Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner)